Changes

Lots of changes have been happening.
Where do you place friends? Where do I place myself as a friend?

I have a friend who thinks I throw him under the bus all the time. I think it's because I have a dark sense of humor and he isn't able to take the jibes. That's ok. But he also made some really smart points. I have an unbalanced enjoyment of gossip and it's come back to bite me in the ass all year this year... Oddly, I thought I cut people out of my life that were sources of drama only to find that I, myself, am a clearinghouse for drama. All in all, I haven't been a good friend because I can't seem to break that cycle. So, that's one thing I need to work on.

My ex wanted to be my friend. But it's complicated and in the end it's all about how I feel about him not being respectful of my feelings. The other day he said, in a single sentence, "You have every right to me angry. Now, can we move on?" Wait... I am allowed to be angry... and now that time is over. NOW! Hmmm... That's not contradictory.

On another note: I turned 37 a few weeks ago. I have started my 40 list and there's not much on it. In a way that's good. I have done a lot in my life. In another way it's tragic. Do I not have dreams? Maybe I need to have some dreams of my own and new aspirations. Something to get excited about.

Get excited, people!