Some days I am ok. Life moves forward and all that. Recently it's been getting a lot better. But Itai isn't the only thing that went horribly awry.
Early September I was arrested for a DUI. I spent the night in the drunk tank and was told to go to court on Oct. 28th. When I arrived I was told all charges had been dropped, but I had been stressing about it for over a month and the relief was overwhelming.
Also in September my bird died. It was sad even though he was totally annoying at best. But to have a living creature die in your hand is a moving experience and I am saddened by his departure from my life. I still kind of miss my little yellow friend.
I think Itai was the icing on the cake. I have never put myself out to such lengths for someone and the way I loved him was in a way I thought impossible. But I did. And a part of me always will. My heart is lost right now and I've been searching for a path in life that I thought I'd have a partner help me with only to find that I am alone now all is said and done. It's not sad. I'ts something beyond that and greater than that but it's not' sad. It's not even depressing. It's a loss. Something has been lost in my life and it's not coming back. I don't want it to, either.
I need a break for a while from everything. I think I'll have some time to shill out soon. thank God I have anti-depressants. LOL
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