Before I Go To Bed...

I'm about to hit the hay and I really felt like posting something. And, not just any-old-thing.

I found out today that my previous employer would allow me to apply again and I am cleared to be rehired if I pass all the interviews. A part of me likes this idea.

Another part hates it. Don't get me wrong. I really liked working in my last position, the pay was good, the hours were great, the people were terrific and I enjoyed it. But, it was really stressful and I cared too much about things. Also, I don't think I want to go back to my old job even if they were hiring.

What I like about knowing is this: I was a good enough employee to be fired but still want to have back.

There's some satisfaction about that.

Also, I've been wondering what I'm going to do for work. I'm about to go to Ikea and Vons to ask for a job (nothing against them, they just don't pay that well and I'd have to work 2 jobs to make ends meet). As I continue thinking I keep coming back to a childhood dream. I really would love to work for Disney. I listen to a Podcast called "The Dis Unplugged" and, while there is a list a mile long as to why I want to chuck some of them out the window, there's also a list just as long as to why I like the podcast. A true love-hate situation. Anyhoo...

On the podcast there was a young lady who talked about going through the Disney College Program and I was just a little envious. The reason I was envious wasn't because she got to participate and I didn't. No, that's far too obvious an emotion for me. It's not even the other two podcasters telling their stories about having participated in it. It's because I wasn't that savvy as a 20 year old. My teens and twenties were a ball of confusion that I'm still teasing apart.

I know most people have a tough time in their twenties and I know for a fact that teenagers are a mess. But I was clueless. I mean, really clueless and I don't think I had the wherewithal to pull my act together and focus on something like that. Grant it, I did have it together enough to get myself to New York but that's a disaster of a whole different making. I look back now and realize what I really wanted to do was be a part of Disney and I didn't understand that.

All I'm saying is: Things could have been different. They aren't but they could have been.

But, there's still time and there are still other ways.