Whacky!

In an effort to catch you all up I wanted to give a quick post:

I'm attending Comprehensive Training Systems to become a Medical Assistant. It's been a battle to get this started but I can say I'm glad I'm doing it this way. I could have gone into debt another 12K, or I could have gone into debt another 3K... but I have, somehow, ended up with having all my training for free.

I'm up a lot in my weight. I'm at 300lbs and I'm really upset about it. It's a life-long struggle with food, emotions and all that but even more it's a struggle with my family and how they created their weight issues about themselves and have passed that on. Especially the depression, anxiety, self-loathing and co-dependent insanity. I love my family. I just have to get over them.

Mentioning getting over something: I'm phasing off of paroxatine (Paxil). This marks my first full week off anti-depressants in 10 years and withdrawal is kinda whacky. I'm crankier than usual and I'm getting mild bouts of what is called "brain shivers." Some people have severe symptoms. Mine are mild. I had a day of dizziness and sometimes when I close my eyes i hear a zzzzzz-ing sound in my head. Fun, huh? If you're on an SSRI or other anti-depressant, please discuss this with you doctor or at least notify your family and please taper off slowly. Cold Turkey is only good for sandwiches.

Other than that I'm just kinda broke most of the time. Being unemployed is super-glamorous that way. All joking aside, I'm really grateful to be where I am. I'm blessed to have some kind of income to allow me a way to live on my own, to grow and a man and to discover what I have to do with my life. Most people just fuck that up but I'm really in it to win it and like one of my favorite movies says, "You gotta risk it to get the biscuit."

Mmmm.... biscuits... I'm gonna be baking tonight!